September in Greek life can only mean one thing: recruitment season. While most people are smooth sailing through reading syllabi and the enjoying the light academic load, Greeks everywhere are frantically preparing to add to their chapter size. Sorority girls either love or hate recruitment depending on how long they have been a sister. If it is your first time going through recruitment you have one motive and one motive only: finding your potential little and LOCKING HER IN before someone else does. If it is your second or third time you want absolutely nothing to do with it and you are still bitter you were not chosen to be a recruitment counselor. If you are a senior you are emotional that it is your last time seeking out new babies and you feel responsible to only let the best in because after all, once you leave, they are the new chapter. Yikes. If your chapter advisor is anything like mine she talks about recruitment like it is Christmas, her birthday, the 4th of July, and the 2nd big bang all rolled into one. Your recruitment chair has basically dropped all of her classes, senses, morals, forgotten her last name, only speaks in glitter colors, etc. The term “helium tank” has become a touchy subject and there are blisters on your fingers from tying knots on 4.6 million balloons (that pop while setting up anyway). Regardless of who you are and what role you play in your sorority, these are8 thoughts every sorority girl has had about recruitment.
1. “If I have to sing this chapter song one more %#*($&@ time I’m going to…”
Singing chants and sorority songs is super cute when you are a new member/pledge/whatever the proper term is these days. You find yourself humming them in the shower, doing the hand motions, and even telling your mom about them like you are repaying her for all of the lullabies she used to sing. However, they get old reaaaaal quick. Chapter meetings become a sing along and the sister that loudly messes up a lyric actually sees her life flash before her eyes. One mistake and your recruitment chair shrugs and makes you sing it all over again. Post chapter meeting there is always a pow-wow among friends discussing who was and was not singing, like, “She’s on executive board and was totally mouthing the lyrics. If she doesn’t know them I’m certainly not straining MY voice to pick up her slack!” Sisterly love.
2. “Those pants are NOT going to look good on everyone”
I don’t know why we insist on matching. Who started that trend? How DARE they? If you have ever walked past a sorority recruitment room your eyes are immediately blinded by the sea of uniform colors. Every single year without fail the entire chapter complains about what their recruitment counselor chose as the mandated (yes, if you don’t have it–go out and buy it) outfits. The usual argument is “those white pants are NOT going to be flattering on everyone! I didn’t go to the gym enough for this!”, and everyone sighs in agreement (except the recruitment chair’s little who has decided to take an oath of silence for the month of September). However, the only way everyone will look equally as stunning is if they pick their own outfits, but hell would freeze over before that happened. Side note: who decided wearing heels during recruitment should be a thing? I’m standing for five straight hours. Flip flops are cute! No?
3. “_____ better not be awkward and weird to the girls. Can’t she just be a recruitment counselor?!”
Sue me. It’s true. There is always that one sister that is 100% loveable, sweet, and uh..quirky. We love her and accept her (just maybe not during recruitment). She doesn’t have a filter and during last year’s recruitment you walked by as she was telling a TMI story that you don’t even share with your biological sister. Maybe we can just give her a nice job like handing out name tags! Okay, no, lets not let her talk to anyone. She can alphabetize the name tags.
4. “Can we eat before the first party? And a snack after the second? I need my strength. I didn’t even get to eat dinner! (lie). Are they ordering pizza for us after? No? What the heck are my dues for then?!”
I don’t know why, but sorority girls are notoriously hungry during recruitment. Maybe it is the long hours, energy spent curling our hair every day, or talking to 5,000 girls every night. I’ll be honest: 99.99% of the time when we are talking to a girl during recruitment we are thinking about what food we are going to stuff our faces with (ignoring the pain in our cheeks from smiling) the second the last party is over. Don’t try arguing that we had a chance to eat right before recruitment started, either. If you being food into the recruitment room your advisor may chop your head off “IT SMELLS LIKE A BURRITO IN HERE”. (What’s wrong with smelling like a burrito?!)
5. “WHAT THE h#@$ IS HER NAME? WHY ISN’T SHE WEARING A NAME TAG?”
Just smile and nod. Smile and nod. Look, if we forget your name during recruitment, don’t be offended. There are over 500 of you, and there is one of me. Also, if a new sister comes over to join the conversation be an absolute gem and take the initiative of introducing yourself, wouldja? There is nothing worse than the sheer panic of frantically trying to remember a girl’s name to introduce her to someone else.
6. “OMG I found my little! Wait, why is Sara talking to my future little? She is MINE!
Ahhh. Little hunting season. Fake smiles, looks of death, hacking into your school’s academic records to see if she is secretly on academic probation, etc. It’s a season of love.
7. “They totally ripped off our theme. And they are hanging posters on the wall! That’s ILLEGAL. They shouldn’t be allowed to participate in recruitment.”
I was once the recruitment chair for all four sororities on campus, and I assure you it felt nothing less than being a mom to quadruplets with polar opposite personalities. Every sorority is out to get another sorority, and God forbid you show any hint of favoritism towards one. In fact, I made the recruitment shirts white because any other color would have been “favoring another sororities chapter colors”. Seriously.
8. “Gosh, I love my sorority”
Yeah, yeah, yeah a typical sweet ending. But through the bickering, blisters, and b****ing you really, really do.