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It’s the holiday season, which also means it’s the season for awkward questions.

Thanksgiving is up first for the warm-up round. After a crazy first half of the semester, many of us are going home to gather with our families to eat good food and give thanks. While many of us just want to eat our turkey and pass out on the floor immediately after in peace, our extended family members aren’t going to let that happen. They need to get caught up on every detail that’s happening in our exciting college lives. Every. Single. Detail.

For those of you who are freshman: good luck. You are fresh meat, as they say, in the college questions game. Your life has changed immensely in the past four months, and your family wants to know ALL about it. Maybe you’re excited to talk about your experience so far, but let us warn you that this will just be the beginning of a four year-long interrogation (and then some). Get ready to make this face a lot:

Here are some questions, as tired of hearing them as we may be, we college students must be prepared for. We would never say the corresponding responses out loud, but they totally cross our minds before we open our mouths to answer.

Seniors, good luck to you too, because I know many of you still don’t know the answer to #3.

1. Have you made any new friends?

No, I haven’t. I’m a hermit who stays in my room because I only take online classes and I like microwaved food more than any other food in the world. OF COURSE, I’VE MADE NEW FRIENDS. Do you think my social skills aren’t up to par or something? Rude.

2. What are you studying?

I thought I told you at my graduation party, weren’t you listening?  It’s economics…I hate it enough at school and I  REALLY don’t want to be talking about it now when I could be stuffing my face with chocolate cake. Let’s talk about that instead.

3. Oh, and what do you plan on doing with your life?

Excellent question. Wish I knew myself. Ideally, I would live in a tree house on a tropical island in the Caribbean. But for some reason, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

4.Have you been going to class or been too busy drinkin’? (har har har)

Well, I mean, I do both. But I’d rather not discuss the latter with you because I’m pretty sure you’ve changed my diaper at some point in my life. 

5. Are you dating anyone?

*spits out drink* The answer 5 years ago was no. The answer last year was no. The answer this year is no. Do you see a pattern here? Ain’t no body got time for that, or these questions. Let me eat my chocolate cake in peace plz. 

What questions are you tired of being asked?