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Football season is upon us! Get excited! GET FIRED UP! Just…not that fired up. A college football game is a fantastic time to enjoy sports or admire nice butts. However, there is a code of conduct at these sporting events. Here are some tips of mine so you don’t come off like a loser at your next home game!

one does not simply college football game meme

1. Don’t wear the other team’s colors.

I go to FSU where the prescribed colors of school spirit are garnet and gold. SEMINOLE PRIDE! However, back when I was a freshman I was naïve to football game dress code. Unknowingly, I showed up wearing the opposing team’s colors and did the war chant in shame the entire time. Now I know to triple check before leaving the house what colors I’m wearing… inebriated or not.

2. Don’t be a douche.

Listen, man, I get that you’re like super hyped to be here with all your friends cheering on your school. Life is great! You cheer that team on. Don’t, however, become a douche bag that picks fights with other fans. No, I don’t care that the guy sitting two rows in front of you is trash talking your team. Sit and watch the damn game! I’m 5’9” I don’t have the capacity to see over two muscle heads beating each other in the stands. Nope, can’t do it. Sit.

3. Don’t buy food.

Did you know a pizza at the stadium costs like, an arm and 9 bucks? Last time I got nachos, I had to sign a piece of paper agreeing to give the stadium my first born child. (Not really, but it was implied.)

After I went on a riot girl binge and bought myself an iccee, a pizza, and nachos I went home and had a belly ache and 25 less dollars. Now, I eat before the game and refuse to buy food during… inebriated or not.

Side note: If you do happen to get food, clean that up! If I have to step in half eaten nacho cheese one more time, the bodies are going to hit the floor!

4.  Don’t be a Debby-Downer.

We all have a friend like this. “Debby! You put down that phone, Debby! I don’t care if your boyfriend broke his foot; you need to see this touchdown!” He/She is the person you have to drag to the game and they spend the whole time on their phone or just sulking because they don’t like sports. Either leave the Debby-Downers at home, or recognize you are one and volunteer to stay behind. You’ll be happier. I’ll be happier. We’ll all win. <3

5. Don’t get too drunk.

I know a guy who got so drunk he threw up on the people in front of him and got escorted out of the stadium by the police. They let him go because he told them he had heat exhaustion, but he really was just being an amateur.

Okay, secret time: it was me. Shhh.

Getting so drunk you don’t know where the hell you are is so not chic and you probably shouldn’t attempt to stand up for 3 + hours in a crowded space. I think this would probably apply to concerts as well. Take a few shots before the game, sure. Don’t take six. Know your limits! That way, you don’t awkwardly have to explain to everyone how you threw up on fellow classmates. Sometimes, you’ll still see one of them on campus and avoid eye contact. Not fun.

There you have it, some tips on how to be super classy and put together at a college football game. Now, if anyone could actually explain the rules of football to me, that’d be appreciated!

Any tips for people going to their first college football game?


Featured photo credit: Official U.S. Air Force via photo pin cc