Become a Writer Advertise With Us

In just a few short weeks I will be turning the grand age of 23 (I know, I know. No one will like me), and I have been having a complete and utter not-quite-mid-life crisis. I am quite content with feelin’ 22 because it is basically 21 which is technically an age that can still get away with being immature. But 23? No way. For Pete’s sake my mother gave birth to me at 23, and I just changed the month on my One Direction calendar that is pinned to my wall (next to an individual poster of Harry Styles). I thought to myself “There is absolutely no way I’m adult”, and started ticking off the reasons in my head. In case you are also having an I’m-not-too-young-but-I’m-not-too-old debate in your mind, here are reasons that even though you are technically an adult, you really, really aren’t. After all, age is just a number, baby.

1. “This looks clean!”

Folding Laundry GIF Adult Piece Dirty Laundry

(GIF via Blogspot.com)

I have approximately four different piles of clothes in my room at all times:

1. A laundry basket full of clean clothes that I intend to pick through until the basket is empty. I took these out of the dryer with absolutely no intention of ever folding them and putting them in their respective drawers.
2. A pile of clothes that I tried on the night before but disregarded for the same black crop top I’ve worn three weekends in a row.
3. The dirty clothes. This pile is usually the biggest and is not an actual pile. It is more of a thin spread across my entire floor.
4. A hamper full of clothes that will stay there until I have a deep desire to clean out my entire room. It has been SO long since I’ve worn the clothes in this hamper that I can’t remember if they are dirty or clean.

Adults don’t do this. They have one laundry hamper, and when that bad boy is full they wash its contents and put them away immediately. Imagine that. They also never wear anything twice which makes them incredible. (Except for jeans. I don’t trust people that wash their jeans after only wearing them once).

2. “The Teen Choice Awards are tonight!”

Teen Choice Awards 2013 Harry Styles From One Direction Twerking Not An Adult Piece

(GIF via Giphy.com)

Your choice in which award shows you watch reveal a lot. Look, the only reason I really watch the Oscars is to see if Jenny Lawrence picks up an award. If you watch the Oscars you are not necessarily an adult, but if you pay attention to the make-up, fashion design, and weird short film categories you’re, like, 85. If you watch the Emmy’s you’re at least 36. Me? I lie about my age so I can vote for the Teen Choice Awards. I think that makes me 16 according to the online ballot that I illegally filled out and 12 according to my maturity level.

3.  Your Choice in Fashion

90s Fashion Not An Adult Piece Saved By the Bell

(GIF via Giphy.com)

Jelly shoes, scrunchies, multiple rings on your fingers that do not match (we’re talking’ silver AND gold), more bracelets on your wrist than you can count, a denim jacket, an oversized flannel (probably to tie around your waist), black skinny jeans, t-shirts with either a daisy, fringe on the bottom, or studs on the shoulders, crop tops, and t-shirts with city printed names on them like LA, LDN, and NY. If you own any of the above you are not an adult. Disclaimer: I own all but one of these items, and I am therefore not poking fun or mocking anyone’s style. Also, your fashion inspiration tells a lot about your maturity level. I tend to gravitate towards boy band member’s and their family member’s closets, so not only am I an adolescent, but I need a new hobby.

4.  Facebook Makes You Sick

Drinking Wine GIF Not An Adult Piece

(GIF via Giphy.com)

If you scroll through your Facebook feed and smile at the “I SAID YES!” engagement statuses , baby photos, pregnancy updates (Baby bump at six weeks!!), honeymoon and anniversary “I can’t believe it’s been three years with the hubs” updates you are an adult. If you choke on your water and switch to a glass of wine after then congratulations. You are not an adult.

5. You Totes Love Abbevs

Clueless GIF Slang Totally Buggin Not An Adult Piece

(GIF via Giphy.com)

A person’s vocabulary tells mountains about them. You can legit be the most established and respected writer or journalist in the world, but if you abbrev half of the words that come out of your mouth you’re totes not an adult yet regardless of how humes you think it is. Sorry bb. Also, if you have a bae you are not an adult either. If you are an adult and need some assistance deciefering the lovely teenage lingo, we’ve got you covered.

6. The Disney Channel Factor

Lizzie McGuire Hilary Duff Disney Channel GIF Not An Adult Piece

(GIF via Giphy.com)

This one is tricky. If you say “Oh yeah I think that girl is on some Disney channel show about ants or something” you are totally not an adult. If you say “Oh yes! That is China Anne McClain! She is an absolute sweetheart and plays Chyna Parks on A.N.T Farm! She is a great role model. Way better than that Miley Cyrus and her repulsive foam finger debacle!”, then you are an adult. You most likely have a small child and really, really need to get out of the house. P.S if you use the word debacle you are also an adult.

 

A lot of people may read these 6 factors and pride themselves on being an adult, and that is wonderful. Society needs people like you to keep it together. Good for you, bb. However, I’m seeing One Direction twice next week, wear more rings on my fingers than I can count, and I just called you bb. So, like, heres to never growing up.

 

Are You An Adult?


(Featured Image via Knowmore.tv)