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An Inner Monologue of Watching Avril Lavigne’s “Hello Kitty” Music Video

Editor’s note: If you haven’t already, watch Avril Lavigne’s “Hello Kitty” music video below before you read:

No need to shout at the beginning of your video. I already clicked on it.

You’re closer to 30 than 20, Avril. Stop it.

Stop telling Hello Kitty what to do.

This is racist, right?

It’s so natural to do the Mashed Potato dance while being covered in cupcakes.

Even your backup dancers hate this.

You’re the Jan Brady to Gwen Stefani’s Marcia. Who was also racist.

I can’t even understand you when you’re singing/shouting in English.

Here comes the Skrillex breakdown.

Yep, this is what mescaline feels like.

I hope all the mercury is in that sushi you’re so excited to eat.

This is what happens when Hello Kitty and My Little Pony make out after having too many vodka cranberries.

Maybe it’s time you reach back out to that Sk8er Boi. He’s probably better than Chad Kroeger.

This is like The Room of music videos.

I give you points for not twerking.

Should I make this my callback ringtone?

Obviously.

I don’t think she’s really talking about Hello Kitty anymore.

Oh, I get it. It’s an allegory for the Fukushima disaster.

I’m going to listen to this 1,000 more times.

(gif via)

Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?

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