Over the years I have learned a lot from Rihanna. I have learned how to throw major shade at people who are talking trash, I have learned that only she can wear certain items of clothing without looking ridiculous, and I’ve learned that going without a bra is a risk one must take once in a while.
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would learn what it would be like to be kidnapped by Rihanna, but thanks to the BBHMM video we all learned that even when dealing with violence, nudity, and money, Rihanna always has to do things in her own personal style.
You get transported to new heights:
It may be against your will and blood may start to rush to your head from all that swinging.
You travel in style:
That may be in the backseat of her brand new foreign car, it may be on a private cargo ship, or it may be tied up in a Louis Vuitton trunk.
She takes care of you:
Like when you get seasick for the first time.
She has a bit of a temper:
Be aware that she may hit you over the head with a bottle if you try to cry out for help. Also, if she isn’t getting her money, she may throw her phone in the water while trying to shoot at it.
You get to turn up with her:
Drink with her and dance with her, all while in hair curlers.
You get to go for a swim:
I mean, you may be under the water for a long period of time underneath a inflatable alligator while hiding from a cop, but at least you get to go for a dip.
And no matter what…
Rihanna always looks good, even when disobeying the law… big time.