Even the fittest and healthiest people in the world have experienced the moment of terror post vacation, holiday, or just a lazy week when you put your jeans on and they are a bit snugger than usual. Your first thought is to blame the “low” setting on your dryer for being too hot and causing a shrinking situation. However, you begin to count the burritos, ice cream, and late night cheese fries you have consumed over the past week. Then you count the number of hours you have spent in the gym. Oh. Well, that explains it. In order to raise your spirits you assure yourself those pounds will shed right off and you are slightly excited to start a diet. “It is a chance to start a whole new me!” you think as your pin healthy recipes on Pinterest and lay out your matching gym clothes. A friend suggests how you should start and you can’t help but think it sounds easy. But the excitement wears off quickly, and you become slightly crazy. The only thing you can thing about is food. Even when you are eating you are planning your next move. We’ve all been there. Here are the stages of being on a diet as told by Boy Meets World.
It all begins when your resident fitness friend talks about the latest diet trend and you think “Sure! I can do that!”
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So you recruit your BFF and the two of you proclaim “Diet starts Monday!” as you shovel one last morsel of cake into your mouth
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Day one starts of with a black cup of coffee and you bask in your hipster glory
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Carrot and beet juice for lunch? Delicious. You even Instagram a beautiful snapshot of your vibrant drink. This is easy. You can practically feel your veins glistening with vitamins.
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But then someone walks by you with a box of donuts and your primal instincts take over. You can see the frosting leaking out of the side of a powdered one and your left eye begins to twitch
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A kind soul suggests you go to a health food store and pick up a few “healthy” desserts. $500 later you are ready for the apocolypse
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Your new positive outlook begins to diminish once you actually taste the “desserts” and you become obsessed with meal times
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You eat snacks so quickly you do not even remember eating it
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Cupcakes. Twix. Spoonfuls of peanut butter. Everything reminds you of food. That cloud in the sky? That looks like a cheeseburger, right?!
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Your clothes even begin to express your greatest desires
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The Food Network becomes your newest obsession. You are a masochist.
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Then your skinniest friend tests your willpower and you momentarily plan her funeral (mostly the reception menu)
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A few skinny girl margaritas later you break down and call out for the cheesiest and greasiest pizza your neighborhood has to offer
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You eat the first slice so fast that the cheese burns your tongue in 6 different spots but love knows no pain
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3 slices later and you can’t see straight. You’ve been living off of celery and grilled chicken for 5 days
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The next morning you wake up with regret but you tell yourself you probably just spiked your metabolism
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The scale confirms your thoughts
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You call your BFF to celebrate, and you sip your diet coke with pride
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And the next time your resident fitness friend opens her mouth you run in terror. Never. Again.
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What is dieting like for you?
(Featured Image via teachthebudget.com)