In case you haven’t read my posts over at The College Crush, I’m just a regular college girl trying to navigate the dating world. I like to pat myself on the back sometimes for how far I have come in being able to develop relationships and keep them, but man, it didn’t come easy. Never will I ever again date the way that I did in high school. So please, don’t repeat my mistakes. That’s right, you heard me. I love you so much that I’m going to post my greatest relationship mistakes on the internet. Then I will post this on all of my social media outlets too. That’s some serious loving right there.
Never change for anybody but yourself, no matter how annoying you are.
I was one annoying girlfriend in high school. I was always texting or calling the guy-in-question and I would nag them a lot about the least important things. Everybody knew it too. To this day, none of my high school friends are sure why anybody decided to date me. Anyway, I eventually caught on, and the brilliant high school version of me thought “hey, if I’m being too annoying, I should just stop being annoying!” That makes perfect sense. So you can all probably figure out how that worked out for me. I’m not “that annoying girlfriend” anymore though, so people really can change. We grow up. The point though, is that you can’t force it. You’ll change when you want to change, and it’ll happen when you’re ready for it.
Never apologize for being who you are.
This seems pretty obvious, but we get relationship-vision and our rational abilities get clouded. (At least mine do.) Apologizing for being yourself is like saying “sorry that I’m human, give me a moment and I’ll attempt to change that”. It’s a cry for help in moments of desperation where you lose sight of the fact that this is not, in fact, the only guy/girl in the world who will date you, and that he/she is not, in fact, perfect. Nobody is. First of all, please never try to change the fact that you’re human – it won’t work. Second, you’re unique. Isn’t that great? Wouldn’t it be scary if there were 6 billion people in this world who were very similar to you? So find somebody whose uniqueness meshes well with yours instead of thinking that there’s some defect in your character. (There isn’t one.)
Never get lazy.
This one guy quoted Train’s “If It’s Love” to me once. The lyrics are “if it’s love and we’re two birds of a feather then the rest is just whatever”. I believed him for a few days. Then I called it off. We hear this all the time, but relationships really do take work. They’re easy at first but that ease wears off. If you feel yourself getting lazy, take it as a sign that you don’t care enough. You maintain your relationships with your friends, and we all know that takes work sometimes. Dating is no different.
Never will you ever…
[line] Image courtesy of Sontra via Flickr (CC BY 2.0).