You know you love your professors (or at least most of them). No matter how hard their exams are, or how weird their essay questions sound, you’ll still probably love them. (Okay, at least as people if not professors). So here are five kinds of college professors that you’ll eventually meet. The Professor Rating scale runs from 1 to 10 with 1 being the worst and 10 being the best.

1. The Perfect Professor

You will have one of these. The Perfect Professor is extremely friendly and always available for individual help. Their exams will be incredibly fair (but not too easy) and you will feel a sense of accomplishment after earning your mark in their class. The Perfect Professor will inspire you. They will make you work harder than you ever have, just because you love the course, and they may influence your decision in changing your major to something that you really love. The Perfect Professor is the life-changing professor that you always hear other people talking about.

Professor Rating: 10
Grading: As good as it can be. Challenging enough for you to feel accomplished, and fair enough for you to get a satisfactory mark.

2. The PhD Candidate

The PhD Candidate is probably going to be your one of your favorite professors. Since they’re still going through school, they are much more sympathetic toward your life outside of school. They’ll be more than happy to help, and your class will probably be smaller so they’ll have more time for individual consultation. The PhD Candidate is younger and more relatable than some of your other professors, and they will make funny (and sometimes inappropriate) jokes along the way.

Professor Rating: 9
Grading: Incredibly fair, and they’ll tell you about the re-grading process if you’re unhappy with your mark.

3. The Sneaky One

The Sneaky One will teach incredibly well and be very nice. You will love going to their classes, and in fact, you may even have a perfect attendance record in their lectures. But when the midterm rolls around, you will be confused out of your mind. You’ll vaguely remember their cute anecdotes, but won’t remember them in enough detail for the exam because you didn’t think that an anecdote would actually show up on the exam. Your mark in their course will be relatively low, but you can’t be angry with The Sneaky One because they’re just so damn loveable.

Professor Rating: 7
Grading: Tricky, because you’ll go back to your notes and find the information somewhere for each of your wrong answers.

4. The Newbie

The Newbie may also be a PhD Candidate, but they are characterized by a more specific set of traits. The Newbie is less confident, and as a result, they will want their students to actually enjoy their class. They will probably tailor the course based on the students’ preferences. They might even be a little too nice to the point where their class is slightly inefficient. They are incredibly knowledgeable and passionate about the topic, but are not sure of how to communicate the information and passion clearly. The Newbie loves their office hours and will always show up when they say they will. They will also try cool and/or awkward new “teaching strategies”. In short, The Newbie is a nice, knowledgeable professor. Cherish it. They may not be this way for long.

Professor Rating: 6
Grading: Agreeable, but you’ll get either no criticism or too much criticism when you get your marks back.

5. The Hater

The Hater is probably only teaching for the sake of the income. They really want to be doing research or retiring, but they can’t because of financial constraints. The Hater will write hard quizzes and exams, and will most likely fall off the face of the planet after giving their lecture. They are consistently angry at something or someone. Like The Sneaky One, their in-class anecdotes will show up on the exam, but you will be angry about it. So, so angry.

Professor Rating: 3
Grading: Awful, since you didn’t take down the relevant notes in class because no other professor would have tested you on those specific details.

Who were your favorite college professors?

Image courtesy of somegeekintn via Flickr (CC BY 2.0).