HBO just announced the episode titles for season 4 of Game of Thrones (premiering in one month.) We’re excited for the new season, but we’re wondering: what if our favorite characters went to college? 


Daenerys Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen Game of Thrones

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Daenerys is the foreign exchange student that no one really knows. Despite being told not to, she snuck her pets into her dorm. Her roommate often threatens to tell their RA or child protective services since Dany calls herself their mother. She’s a political science major, hoping to run for public office one day. Her dorm walls are adorned with a Ready for Hillary poster and charcoal drawings of Gloria Steinem. Her friends are an odd bunch – there are a couple of older dudes who are either her dads or lovers and a quiet girl that sorta dresses like her. In her free time, she rides horses, starts MoveOn.org petitions, and protests the current student government administration.

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion Lannister  Game of Thrones

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This drunken savant is enjoying his sixth year in school. He currently studies business, but he has studied philosophy, English literature, and mixology. He’s on the debate team and has become a mentor to several on campus misfits. His favorite pastime is crashing sorority parties.

Joffrey Baratheon

Joffrey Baratheon Game of thrones

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Joffrey only got in because some building is named after his dad. This undeclared sophomore was voted student government president in a special election after the incumbent was found passed out drunk with the rival school’s boar mascot. Rumors written in the bathroom stalls say Joffrey only got into his frat because of his cougar mom. He is currently under investigation for hazing new pledges. He claims he simply followed the Bush Doctrine.

Melisandre

Melisandre Game of Thrones

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This spiritually guided student spends most of her time praying. She’s majoring in religious studies but mocks religions that aren’t her own. She often gets in trouble for lighting candles in her room. Campus police arrested Melisandre for getting into a fight with her roommate. She took great offense when she thought her roommate was taking the Lord of Light’s name in vain by saying LOL. After a student told her that gingers don’t have souls, she stripped naked and tried to birth a spirit in the cafeteria.

Sam Tarly

Sam Tarly Game of Thrones

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Sam is the school’s mascot and sole student in the cryptozoology department. His interactions are usually with people who are trying to sleep with his hot roommate Jon. The only time people genuinely listen to him is when his whimpers echo throughout the halls from his legs chafing. Despite having the intelligence and build of a paper bag full of scrambled eggs, Sam has lasted much longer than the students from the prominent Stark family.

Who’s your favorite Game of Thrones character?


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