Jay TelliniAny show that runs for over 25 years should certainly have at least one piece of good advice. The Simpsons offers comedic gold on the subject of life tips, as countless videos and memes have flooded the internet with wisdom from Springfield (what state is it in again?) We hope you enjoy these 10 Homer Simpson quotes about life.
1. “Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.”
We’ve all been there…Those release moments of built-up rage always come at the worst times, don’t they?
2. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
3. “All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.”
My one dream has been foiled…my one dream to be a football playing king in space with a mustache.
4. “When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!”
Is there anything that can’t be learned from The Big Bang Theory or The Jerry Springer Show?
5. “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”
Don’t make an ass out of yourself.
6. “Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
And that right there is the real American Dream!
7. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Well you still have to work to afford the ticket…
8. “Marge, this ticket doesn’t just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself.”
The slogan of teenage moviegoers everywhere.
9. “Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa’s teeth, he gets to break yours.”
The perfect example of justice at its finest.
10. “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
Interpret this however you like…