Become a Writer Advertise With Us

Dear College,

You must be getting bored with yourself. The run-of-the-mill class and homework schedule just isn’t enough to keep these students stressed. They have gotten used to your destructive ways and have found strategies to get themselves through classes. So you know what? I think it’s time for us to come up with something bigger and better to stress these students out more. Think of this letter as an inspirational pep-talk to excite us for the rest of the year.

Seeing as these students are used to doing work, why not give them more work to do? After all, they are expecting midterms to pop up soon, right? Let’s schedule those midterms right after one another, but just far enough apart that students┬ácan’t defer any of them. Now of course we can’t do this for every student, but I’m sure we could figure out some algorithm to make it happen to the most students possible, right? What do you say?

We also know that students think October is midterm season. We could mix it up some more this year! How about we schedule a few tests and assignments in November? That way, students will have the big midterm push in October, but then still have one pesky test or assignment before finals! I can think of no more brilliant way to up the ante for this year. Whee!

You may be thinking that we’re being unkind, but college has become much too regimented – especially for those seniors. Shouldn’t we make an effort to keep them engaged? How better to keep students working on school by giving them more and more schoolwork, right? Think of it as a way to challenge the brightest minds in the country. Technically, we’re doing everybody a favor. So please, College, think about it. We have always agreed in the past and I think it’s time that we change up the school system a little so that students know we’re still here. Really, think about it.

Sincerely,

October-December


feature image via iStock