Okay, so after Part 1, you’ve gotten past the first and second date. You might have gotten past a few more too, and now you’re in that awkward stage of “seeing each other” but not actually “being together”. What in the world does this mean? What are your boundaries? What can you do and what can’t you do? What can you say? What can you ask? There are always a hundred questions when it comes to dating, but it really is a great way to get to know somebody that you’re interested in.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way #4
Don’t Tell Them Everything.
They seem trustworthy, reliable, friendly, and caring. This, however, doesn’t mean that you should go right ahead and tell them everything about yourself. You probably won’t want to either, and I am here to act as a friendly reminder that there really is no pressure. You’re not exclusive, you’re not serious, and you’re not committed.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way #5
This is casual.
I can’t stress this enough: you are not together (save that for Part 3). Your relationship, whatever it might be, is in one of the early stages, and is incredibly breakable. Each date could potentially be your last. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s just true. One of you might find something undesirable in the other, and that could potentially be it. There really should be no hard feelings on either side. If there are, you might want to consider making it official.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way #6
Don’t change yourself.
Don’t try to change yourself into whoever you think you should be for this person. This will lead to a very messy situation in the future if the relationship continues. Be honest, even if it seems like a small issue (why yes, I really do love olives…). I can’t stress enough that you aren’t committed yet. And remember that they’re trying to impress you as much as you’re trying to impress them.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way #7
Come on, be nice.
This goes for both sides. If you don’t want to see someone anymore, you still have to let them know. Just because you’re not committed doesn’t mean that you don’t have some sort of relationship. If you wanted your friend to leave you alone, you would let them know in some way, shape, or form. The same rule applies here. Show them respect, be polite, and be nice. Besides, they could very easily make a great friend. If you’re the one being let down, you might feel a little hurt, but that is no reason to be rude. I know it’s hard to keep your emotions at bay, but it’s just the right thing to do. It’s nobody’s fault.
“Never let the facts get in the way of the truth.” – Cal Lightman, Lie to Me
Photo courtesy of HannahWebb via Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0).