Powdered alcohol might just be thing, and it’s a thing that should absolutely not ever be a thing. Powdered alcohol, like the original Four Loko, is exactly why we can’t have nice things.
The only thing saving college students from the wrath of “palcohol” is that, while reports over the last few days have said it’s government approved, it turns out that it may have been approved by accident. But just in case this issue gets cleared up and powdered alcohol hits store shelves in the near future, we just want to warn you: no good can come of this.
Palcohol (if actually approved) comes in flavors such as Mojito, Cosmopolitan, and Lemon Drop, and basically, you mix half a cup of the powder with water for instant booze-y refreshment. Which could actually prove to be useful, if you don’t feel like toting bottles to parties all the time. But only if used responsibly. And when alcohol comes in powder form, there are so many opportunities to be irresponsible, both intentionally and unintentionally.
Here are 4 reasons people (especially college students) and palcohol should never, ever mix.
1. It can’t possibly taste that good
I know you’re used to drinking cheap beer and jello shots, but do you really want to drink a cocktail that requires you to scoop and mix with water like hot cocoa? Is anyone else as weirded out by this as we are? At some point, you’re going to have to stop sacrificing taste and quality for convenience and price. (Not that we know how much palcohol would cost yet.)
2. The odds of alcohol poisoning = never higher
People who aren’t trained bartenders usually have trouble properly measuring out drinks, or just pour without really thinking. The drinks might taste great, and you might be really proud of the concoctions you’ve created, but they’re probably way stronger than necessary without you even realizing. While some people will follow the packaging directions when preparing a drink with powdered alcohol, there are plenty of people who will just scoop, pour, and mix. And it’s even harder to gauge how much liquor you’re actually consuming when it comes in powder form.
3. You could get kicked out of bars/clubs
One of the perks of powdered alcohol is that it’s much easier to transport than bottles, which means some people are going to tempt the fates by sneaking it in to bars, clubs, and events where alcohol is expensive, and mixing it with their sodas. And if you get caught, well, you’re probably going to get kicked out.
4. Please, for the love of Adam Levine, don’t snort it
Just like teens started snorting Smarties (yes, the candy), if palcohol hits the market, don’t be surprised if people start snorting it. And don’t be surprised if that has terrible, terrible consequences. Just don’t do it, okay?
What do you think of palcohol?
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