I swear this isn’t fueled by the fact that I’ve been watching Girl Code all weekend. See, it’s Thanksgiving here in Canada and I keep on hearing about The Turkey Drop. No, this is not some tradition where Canadians find a tall building and drop a turkey from the roof. The Turkey Drop applies to college freshmen and transfer students who have a girlfriend/boyfriend back at home. Thanksgiving is usually the first time that students go home after the beginning of the school year, and when they go home, they get dumped. Or they’re the one doing the dumping. Unfortunately, it often has to do with somebody cheating on the other, and that’s just not cool.
This isn’t some rant about how you’re a horrible person if you have ever cheated in a relationship. No. You’re not a horrible person. You just did a horrible thing. I know one guy who threw up multiple times after his girlfriend cheated on him. I know another guy who is literally hollow and lacking all emotion toward girls. I know one girl who decided that she’s never going to date anybody again. And for those of you who follow my posts, you know that my solution was to just hate that guy a lot. These reactions are usually just phases, but they still suck, and once you’ve been cheated on, you’re never going to fully shake the fear that it might happen again. Being cheated on can do bad things to good people. That displeases me.
But why do we cheat? I’m sure a lot of people think about cheating, fewer think of people that they would cheat with, and still fewer actually do it. I reject any “born a cheater” claims. Cheating is an action, and to act is to choose.
I’m pretty sure that people cheat when they’re missing something from their relationship.
There’s nothing inherently wrong in missing something from your relationship. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t care enough about you. Maybe you wish that your girlfriend were more into “guy things” like sports and beer. Maybe you’re just bored and need something exciting in your relationship. Whatever you’re missing is fine, but my vote is for being respectful by talking it out and then breaking up or trying to work it out.
You want all my feelings about cheating in a relationship?
I hate it. Don’t do it. And if you have, leave. If you’ve been cheated on, leave. I know it’s hard, but do it anyway. If your SO thinks that cheating is an alright way to solve his/her relationship problems, I wouldn’t want you to be part of it. I also wouldn’t put it past them to do it again (sorry). I’m not one for giving second chances to somebody who cheats on me, no matter how bad they feel about it. Dude, you made a choice. You decided that I’m not worth respecting.
Image courtesy of denharsh via Flickr (CC-BY-2.0).