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It’s Parent’s Day at school, and all of the students’ essays are on display. Bob and Linda run into their kid’s teacher, Mr. Frond, who is avoiding them, for some reason. Turns out their kids’ essays were creative, in an offensive kind of way. First up is Louise’s story.

Future Frond

Robot Frond traveled here from the future to deactivate the student known as Louise Belcher. He travels around on roller skates, wearing pink undies, and he finds Louise who runs much faster than Robot Frond.

Her friend, Daryl, is also from the future and tries unsuccessfully to save her. They run into the gym and hide under the bleachers. Daryl explains that it all happened on the day of her eight grade graduation, after she left the brownie chair surprise for Frond. He boarded himself up in this basement to build a time machine and robot to send himself back into the future to avoid sitting on the brownie, also known as Brownie Butt. Louise is understandably annoyed that Daryl didn’t bring any special future weapons back with him, other than his sad attempt at a moustache.

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Louise, Tina and Gene end up underneath a cafeteria table and attack Robot Frond with creamed corn. They trap him in a vat of creamed corn and…there are more Future Fronds, including onesie Future Frond. So they move to Mexico and Louise journals while waiting for the Fronds to find them.

Bob and Linda really liked Louise’s story, so Mr. Frond shows them Gene’s story.

Fart School For The Gifted

Everyone’s jamming to a song called “Gas Class.” Mr. Frond shuts down the party and takes away Gene’s Casio.

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Gene, Louise and Tina steal the Casio with Gene’s lock-picking voice and run to the public address system. He plays his own original song called “Fart School,” or something like that, I’m not really sure but I encourage everyone to let their inner twelve-year-old free and look this one up on YouTube or wherever because it’s kind of adorable.

Anyway, it makes Linda cry with joy. “Oh it was beautiful.” But we’re not done yet, because Tina is also a weirdo.

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Tina Belcher’s Erotic Friend Fiction Presents Why I Love Wagstaff: A Tale Of Horror

Tina is the volunteer hall monitor, which is like being a volunteer sheriff. Something felt wrong to her one morning. Two very tall boys have hall passes to go get their jock itch vaccinations, and then…the nurse’s office is smashed to bits.

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At the pep rally, the team are all zombies. They eat Tammy’s shoulder so now she can’t wear halter tops anymore. It’s the jock itch vaccines, they went terribly wrong. Tina locks all of the zombies in the gym and leads everyone to the teacher’s lounge. It’s locked, and Mr. Frond won’t let them in. But there’s a zombie in the teacher’s lounge and it eats Mr. Frond. “I wonder if she can taste the sadness?” Gene soils himself to become less appetizing, and they all decide to spit on the zombies. But it’s Tina’s hair flip that saves them…and then her shoulder roll. She turns up the flirting with a sexy dance, and all of the zombies fall in love with her.

It wasn’t easy dating fifteen zombies at once, but she did it for the good of humanity. “Soon I couldn’t tell where I ended and the zombies began. Butts, butts, I love butts.”

Basically, Mr. Frond doesn’t understand why the kids hate him so much. Bob tells him he’s complicated and uptight. Linda recommends relaxing a bit and trying to relate to the kids. They hug it out to “seal this heal,” and Bob and Linda notice that Mr. Frond has been brownie butted.

Back at home, Louise felt it happen, the brownie chair surprise. Gene deems it a great but unusual prank as he waits for spaghetti prom to start.

Stay tuned for more recaps of Bob’s Burgers!

All images via Bob’s Burgerpedia