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Gabriella Marasco is an SC Campus Representative for Butler University. She plans on sleeping, eating, and drinking, a lot, over her Thanksgiving break. Read more posts by her here!

It all sounded fine and dandy on that damn campus tour, seeing Jordan Hall, the HRC, walking through Starbucks, but there are just some things they didn’t tell you, things you would eventually learn on your own, things only a real Butler student would understand…and here they are:

The line at Starbucks…



You must allot at least 15 minutes if you want to get Starbucks before class, unless you’re just getting regular coffee or tea, which no one does, because that’s apparently how long it takes to make a latte. Oh, and not only will they not spell your name right on the cup they will also probably switch your gender…

Quarantine Digest emails

Quaratine Digest

In case you didn’t already know, this is Butler’s subliminal message to students saying, “If you’re awake to receive this email then you’re up too late and should probably go to bed.” And your just like “can you not…”

The Butler Connection

Butler Connection

Really, a great idea, in theory… “a daily newsletter to alert student on important campus events” sounds promising right? Nope, actually it’s probably the most irritating thing you will get emailed to you that day. The problem? Well, 75% of the information usually doesn’t apply to you, and the other 25% you already got 17 emails about from career mentors, advisors, or from your professors. Hence why we all hit the “Delete” button instantly.

Two words: Cultural Requirements


Every student’s thought process,

Freshman year: “So I have to go to eight cultural events before I graduate, so like two a year, one a semester, oh well that’s really not that bad, I can totally do that.”

Four years later…

Second semester senior year: “What, I only went to one cultural event? No way, I know I went to more, I think I saw the Nutcracker one year? Doesn’t that count?…” student is then forced going to every cultural event offered that semester…which sucks.


Parking ticket

What they didn’t tell you about parking…well first off, it doesn’t exist, like there’s literally never any parking anywhere, oh wait, except for the I Lot and Hinkle (aka convenient for no one). Whether you live in ResCo, Schwitzer or a Greek house, good luck finding a spot. Also, this year’s parking passes are $200; last year’s price was $70, who doesn’t love a 185% increase in price? Also, BUPD get your shiz together. There’s nothing like walking to your car and seeing that lovely green envelope on your windshield…even though your’e parked in your designated area!

Butler’s football team

Butler Football


Wait, Butler has a football team? What? Really? Wait, they’re good too? Yep, folks it’s true, you heard it here first, we have a football team. They are good, they’re back-to-back conference champions… but who cares about that? Maybe now that they made it to the playoffs this year people will finally start to notice them…which by the way, the game is Saturday Nov. 30th, 1pm @ The Butler Bowl, during Thanksgiving break, super convenient.

We’ll just finish this off with a few tweets from the always entertaining Twitter account Butler Problems @BU_Probs, which are just more things only Butler students would understand…

A Town Tweet

Fire Alarm Tweet

GHS Sucks Tweet

Reading Day Tweet

Small Campus Walk Tweet

Masturbation Tweet

But seriously, ew.

Is there anything else only a
Butler student would understand?