Throwback Thursday is your weekly concentrated dose of nostalgia, where we round up the bests and worsts of all things 90s (and the early 2000s.) This week: The worst 90s girl fashion trends!
Back in the 90s, I thought I was so cool in my stirrup pants and ridiculously neon windbreaker. Then, as I grew a little older, I evolved and rocked the slap bracelets/body glitter/butterfly clips/fake twisty cornrows/white platform Skechers combo on the regular. The 90s had the most awesomely terrible fashions – so much so that, even now, I can’t decide if they’re truly awful, or if they were totally fabulous. And, there were so many ridiculous and wonderful clothing items/accessories/shoes/hairstyles, that I couldn’t pick just 5 90s girl fashion trends so I had to categorize them and round up the best (well, worst) of each category. Here goes nothing…
– Crushed Velvet: Crushed velvet can apply to any article of clothing, really, but it is mostly hideous/amazing when in dress form, spaghetti-strap tank top form, or the worst of them all: leotard/body suit form. The thing about crushed velvet is while it looked really cool texture-wise, it felt awful. It was itchy and made you sweaty, and it usually shed all over the place and thus stuck to your sweaty parts (insides of elbows, etc.) Fabulous, but ew.
– Overalls: Does this really require an explanation? Overalls were the best, in pants, shorts, or dress form (bonus points for dresses that were denim overalls on top but flowy floral skirts on the bottom) and were always worn with one strap unclipped or both straps twisted in an uncomfortable manner.
– Colorful Windbreakers: The brighter, the better. Especially when accompanied by weird patterns.
– Stirrup Pants: Nothing says 90s comfy/casual than leggings that wrap around your feet like you’re sitting on a saddle. It was like being snuggled by spandex while dreaming about that pony Santa Claus never brought you.
– Clear Purses: Clear purses or backpacks were the it-bag of the 90s because you got to show off your Lip Smackers collection without actually bragging about it out loud. No more awkward “yeah, I have the root beer flavored one, don’t you?” conversations.
– Mini Jansport Backpacks: Mini backpacks were fabulous because they were like wearing a regular backpack but you couldn’t actually fit anything in them. Not very useful, but anything in miniature form was like so trendy.
– Slap Bracelets: Slap bracelets were cute but dangerous. Every slap increased the risk that you would cut your wrist open with the ridiculously sharp edges of your jewelry. Best when tie-dyed or covered in glitter.
– Stretchy Chokers: Because why wear a regular necklace when you could wear a stretchy, woven plastic choker that makes your neck itchy? Because it made you look totally hot, duh.
– Platform Skechers: Best worn in solid white and paired with absolutely anything in your closet. The more ridiculous it looks together, the better. No need to wear high heels, you can get the comfort of sneakers with the height you need (or probably don’t since super tall girls like me wore them too.) And they had to be Skechers brand, or you weren’t cool.
– Jellies: Jellies were the closest thing we 90s girls could get to being like Cinderella. Glass slippers? Nah, how about plastic shoes with cut-outs all over them that make your feet sweaty? Ooh! And let’s add glitter!
– Heelys: If you wanted to annoy every single adult around you, Heelys were the way to go. Teachers and parents alike didn’t understand the joy of being able to transition from walking down the hallways to rolling to class without changing your shoes. I didn’t own a pair of Heelys, but only because I likely would’ve broken my face the first time I tried to use them. Safety before fashion!
– Steve Madden Platform Sandals: School dance coming up? Yeah, you rocked these. Other brands tried to pull off the chunky black platform sandal but Steve Madden did it best.
– Twisty Fake Cornrows + Butterfly Clips: Butterfly clips were amazing on their own but when paired with the twisty fake cornrow hairstyle that everyone knew and loved, they were fabulous. Every girl in the 90s wore this hairstyle at some point. Don’t deny it.
– Crimped Hair: You could be totally daring and crimp your whole head (but don’t because that looks even worse) or you could be super cool like Britney or Melissa Joan Hart (and all the other teen queens back in the day) and crimp random pieces. Bonus points if you curled some pieces and straightened others too. Yay texture!
– Mini Buns: Didn’t feel like washing your hair? Bad hair day? Mini buns were your friend. You could make them edgy a la Gwen Stefani, or make them super cute and add butterfly clips.
– Body Glitter: Every outfit in the 90s benefited from body glitter no matter what your style was. Roll-on? Powder form? It didn’t matter, as long as you sparkled and left glitter residue everywhere you went.