Super Mario Brothers enthusiasts unite. You can now continue to revel in the game that glued your little fingers to plastic buttons for some of your most formative years, thanks to this new video from YouTuber AllTime10s. (Not that the Super Mario Brothers obsessions have been MIA since you ran your last virtual course on a Nintendo….Remember these Mario and Luigi Parkour experts? How about the dude who managed to play the wildly popular game’s theme song on a bunch of wine glasses? Classy.)
The “10 Curious Facts about Mario” video, released by AllTime10s just three days ago, already has more than 1.5 million views. Clearly nostalgia for the mustachioed icon of our youth runs deep. To the commenters who are writing, “I already knew facts 3,4,7,8 and 9,” we aren’t sure whether to be deeply proud or deeply ashamed of you. Probably both, since the facts in the video are meant to stump even the die-hard fans: how many of you knew that Mario was originally known as “Jumpman,” a carpenter (not a plumber) meant to fly using a jetpack? Or, how many of you knew that Mario was created only because Nintendo was unable to make a Popeye game? That’s right, kids—that pudgy little Italian man with whom you felt such a deep connection was once considered, well, second-rate. (Gasps all around.)
Perhaps most shocking of all, though, is the final “curious fact” included in the three-minute video, which simulates a Super Mario Bros. scene with its simplistic graphics and classic background music. That last fact? Drum roll, please. Mario is considered by some (don’t worry, they remain unnamed) to be a murderer. Before you book yourself some therapy, or require the use of these tips, let us explain the reasoning provided by the video: the people of The Mushroom Kingdom were once turned into blocks. Thus, destroying the blocks is viewed–by some–as murder. Talk about technicalities.
Still, we realize that this is disturbing news for many of you. We sincerely hope that you will be able to overcome the shock inflicted by the final fact from AllTime10s’ video in time for the North American release of Mario Kart 8 on May 30th (today!). We have faith you’ll be able to pull it together by then.