You cook eggs in the microwave because the stovetop still makes you nervous; your last tax return was–oh wait, you’ve never had one; you’re pretty sure colors are washed with cold water and whites with warm, but you call mother before doing your (once-monthly) load of laundry, just to make sure. Every. Month. If we are describing you right now, you should know that you are most definitely not an adult yet. We don’t care if you’re 67, you’re still not a legitimate adult if any of these ring true for you.
Forget our adult-requisites, though: Erin Mallory Long offers an even better guide (hard to believe, we know) to growing up in her newest YouTube video, “How to Be An Adult”. Long’s understanding of adulthood is pretty much flawless as she cites the following as key actions characteristic of true adults: getting haircuts every three (not 11) months, using the words, “checkbook,” “pocketbook,” and “pantyhose,” complaining about the weather, and, finally, placing your glasses on your head, forgetting you did that, and looking for them, saying, “Where did my glasses go?” for an extended period of time. Is it just us, or does that last one distinctly describe every last middle-aged aunt in your family? Spot on.
The best part of Long’s adult analysis is its subtlety; she cleverly points out how deeply mature it is to place your glasses in your blazer pocket and to owe money (ugh). Long consequently provides us with more than one laugh-out-loud moments during her two-minute video (below). In the end, though, we are a bit concerned: are conservative blouses and easily-“misplaced” reading glasses all that’s waiting for us on the other side?! We may stop cooking our eggs in the microwave, but we are not not not ready to give up the kitten t-shirts. Come on, there are boundaries, people.