Happy Turkey Day y’all! Right now, you’re probably a) watching football b) playing football c)Watching the Macy’s parade (they’re having some cool new floats this year) d) eating or e) in a food coma. Probably the eating part. Anyway, we all know that Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for everything we are lucky enough to have, like the giant turkey roasting away in the oven and your little sister (lol) and to spend time with family, getting annoyed at your parents and stuffing your face with carbs.
As much as you love food, and maybe your family, it is important to understand how Thanksgiving came to be. Pilgrims and Indians (Native Americans?) were involved, there was maybe a turkey, but some of the details get a little blurry. If you want some clarification, check out this extremely informative and factual video in which Kristen Stewart explains the origins of this blessed holiday:
Just kidding, that isn’t actually Kristen Stewart, and nobody actually circumsized the globe, and Pochantas didn’t really sing on Thanksgiving, but one thing we do know? That video is just perfect in every way. Make sure you aren’t nursing a food baby when you watch it, because that might not end well. We are thankful for Barely Political for making that video and really nailing the K Stew impersonation. I also really want that turkey hat she was wearing.
Before I let you get back to the festivities, there is one element of K Stew’s historical rundown that may have seemed a little off, but is actually totally true – Thanksgivukkah! Today also happens to be the first day of Hanukkah, so gobble tov to you if you just so happen to be lighting the Menurkey tonight. Please enjoy this delightful Thanksgivukkah song courtesy of Buzzfeed, who really deserves some sort of award for their outstanding coverage of Thanksgivukkah. This is the best T-givukkah song I’ve heard to date. And yes, there is more than one.
So happy Thanksgiving, may you all be blessed with many leftovers and no hangover (as the result of either food or other substances.) Gobble tov!