Brittney M. HelmrichSo, as you may or may not know, yesterday Microsoft revealed their new “gaming” console (gaming is in quotations for reasons that will be explained shortly) the Xbox One. Reviews for the new console seem fairly positive, but we’re not sold. The reveal event, described by Forbes as “half as long as most thought it would be, and one hour longer than it should have been. Meaning, [it] shouldn’t have been an event in the first place,” was underwhelming and has die-hard gamers everywhere facepalming. Why? Well, the Xbox One has some…problems. Four major ones, actually.
First of all, it was poorly named. It’s predecessor, the Xbox 360, sounds like it would have many more features than the Xbox One. So, the name is already a step backwards. Second (and third), it’s not really being marketed as a gaming console but rather an entertainment console – it focuses too much on its television capabilities and not enough on gaming. And lastly, it’s kind of a stalker. Rather, it seems it could easily be used for stalking purposes. It powers up when you say “Xbox on!” so technically, it never actually shuts down. Not to mention, it comes with Kinect and recognizes all of your movements. Oh, and there’s that teeny, tiny issue of how it records things and automatically sends it to the cloud. (Because that won’t ever end badly!)
I could talk about this all day, but this is a matter better handled by memes…
Problem #1: Its name is stupid
Problem #2: It’s too focused on TV
Problem #3: As a result, it’s not focused enough on gaming
Problem #4: Like Furbies, it never really goes to sleep
We do have an idea for a solution, though…
But we’re not that cruel, so we’ll just say this…
Because, well…
