Zetus Lapetus!: Our Favorite Disney Channel Original Movies

A few coworkers and I were discussing the movies of our youth, and when I threw out the title Brink! I received nothing but blank stares. “HOW have you NOT seen Brink!?” I exclaimed so loudly that I must have starred in the movie myself. I returned their blank stares long enough until it became awkward, and marched away to wallow in second-hand pity. As I muttered to myself about their lack of understanding I realized that there may be others out there like them that suffer from not seeing the best Disney Channel Original Movies, and need a bit of guidance in life. I wiped my tears and began to list my favorites. If you find that you need a bit of help recalling the Disney Channel Original Movies or have seen only a few and need a gentle hand to lead you in the right direction, I have compiled a list of the best of the best. They are in no particular order (but if they were Brink! would be number one).

1. Zenon Girl of the 21st Century

(GIF via Tumblr.com)

Zetus Lapetus what isn’t there to love? A girl living in outer space wins a huge contest to meet her idol while simultaneously saving the entire space station. Cool. Plus Raven Symone plays her sassy best friend (I wonder if she predicted her future as a Disney star on That’s So Raven). Everyone dreamed of moving to outer space and wearing metallic outfits after seeing watching Zenon. Zoom, zoom, zoom, this movie makes my heart go boom, boom, boom.
Stand-Out Moment: Hands-down when Zenon is invited on stage with Protozoa while he performs Supernova Girl in outer space. A dream moment for fangirls everywhere.

2. Smart House

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I know the Smart House lady (Pat) totally went crazy at the end, but who wouldn’t want a holographic Mom to cater to your every need? I practically died when she made a strawberry banana smoothie out of thin air for Nick’s younger sister, Angie. Speaking of Angie, Pat projected the “C’est La Vie” video by B* Witched onto her bedroom wall and I swore if I ever became a millionaire I would do the very same thing.

Stand Out Moment: Nick throws a party at his sweet ~~bachelor pad~~ Smart House and he and his wingmen put on this perfectly choreographed dance number to “Slam Dunk the Funk” by 5ive prepare to impress all the ladies.

3. Brink!

(GIF via Tumblr.com)

(GIF via Tumblr)

Even if Brink! is not your favorite Disney Channel Original Movie it still is your favorite Disney Channel Original Movie. There is absolutely nothing better than watching the Soul Skaters unite together to destroy Team X-Bladz. As if it isn’t enough that the Soul Skaters allow girls on their team AND insist on skating for the love of it not the money, they are lead by Erik von Detten, whom every girl around my age had a crush on at some point in their life. If you never considered yourself a member of Team Pup N Suds, I’m a bit embarrassed for you.

Stand Out Moment: Brink sneaks worms into Val’s sandwich and he takes a big ol’ chomp out of it. When he spits his sandwich everywhere a teacher tells him to “grow up”. Don’t mess with the Soul Skaters.

4. Cadet Kelly

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It is no secret that here at SC we love Hilary Duff, so it should not come as a surprise that Cadet Kelly made our list. In Cadet Kelly, Hilary Duff plays Kelly (duh), a free spirited girl from New York that lands herself in military school when her mom decided to marry “Sir” the head honcho of it. She hates it and is totally bullied, but the cute boy everyone lusts after ends up loving her so all is well.

Stand Out Moment: Kelly and her arch enemy, Jennifer, put their differences aside and put on a stellar performance with rifles for their drill team. They end up losing, but as I said Kelly gets the cute boy so technically she wins.

5. The Cheetah Girls

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This movie was it. It still is it. I have zero coordination and can’t carry a tune, but I wanted nothing more than become a Cheetah Sister. If for nothing else I wanted to join for the sequined jumpsuits and matching headband. The Cheetah Girls taught us all a lesson on what happens when you let fame get to your head, and how to max out your mom’s credit card without getting in trouble.

Stand Out Moment: Galleria’s (Raven) dog, Toto, jumps into a pot hole and the entire city of New York shuts down until it is brought to safety. In order to motivate him to move close enough for the firefighter to grab him the Cheetah Girls must sing an acapella version of their song (which ultimately leads into a solid power number) despite their differences and issues they are having within their friendship. In fact, the high maintenance Cheetah Sister, Aqua, had to take the Subway to get there which was HUGE of her. Someone hand me a tissue. What a sacrifice.

6. Motocrossed

(GIFs via Tumblr.com)

First off, I would like to thank the people that think to make GIFs of Disney Channel Original Movies for providing one of the arguably most attractive love interest in any of Disney movies taking his shirt off. I was extremely pleased to stumble across that gem (can I still consider it stumbling across if I desperately searched for it?). Anyway, Motocrossed was the coolest in the eyes of every girl. Andrea ‘Andi’ Carson decides she wants to race motocross in place of her twin brother, Andy, who is out with an injury. She and her mother sneak around so her father doesn’t find out that she is racing (he considered it not feminine or something like that) and she actually pretends to be a boy for the race and gets away with it. When Andrea chopped off her beautiful, blonde locks in order to pass for a boy I shed a thousand tears for her. Not your hair, bb.

Stand Out Moment: Do you see that top GIF? That is it. Andrea goes swimming with the hottie star motocross racer, Dean, that is helping improve her game. No, no not that kind of game. Her racing.

7. Eddie’s Million Dollar Cookoff

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After I saw this movie I wanted to enroll in a cooking class immediately and create my own special purple sauce. C’mon, we all desperately wanted to know what that purple slime that was described as tasting like “barbecue sauce but better” really tasted like. I wish every viewer received a small sample during their viewing. Eddie ended up losing the cooking competition, but his baseball team totally won even without their best player (Eddie). Disney’s only fault with this film is not producing a follow up segment. Did he continue to cook? Was he jealous of his friends for winning without him? Did ingesting the purple goo have adverse long term medical effects? C’mon, Disney. Give the people the facts they want.

Stand Out Moment: Eddie stays up all night to cook a perfect lasagna. This part always baffled me because 1. When he taste tests the pasta dish it crunches. Last time I checked lasagna isn’t supposed to crunch unless you burn the edges of the pasta. Rookie move, Eddie. 2. If my mom found me cooking a lasagna at 3AM during high school she would have flown into the kitchen and demanded to know what the hell I was doing.

8. The Luck of the Irish

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The people that pitch ideas for Disney Channel movies are pure genius. How many St. Patricks Day movies are floating around? Not many. The Luck of the Irish tells the tale of Kyle Johnson, a boy so naive to think he does not have any heritage until he sprouts pointy ears, a thick Irish accent, and ginger hair. Boy, everyone has a heritage and you are a leprechaun.

Stand Out Moment: The ending scene as Kyle and Bonnie sing This Land is Your Land together on stage and you just know that they end up falling in love.

What is your favorite Disney Channel Original Movie?

(Feature Image via Bustle)